Cinna’s Easy Plays from Shakespeare 6AS YOU LIKE ITSCENE 1
(Enter
ORLANDO and OLIVER separately.)
Oliver
(angry)
: What are you doing, Orlando ?
Orlando
(insolent)
: Nothing, Oliver.
Oliver:
Then get working !
Orlando:
Why should I work ? You do not.
Oliver:
I am your elder brother and I tell you what to do. The pigs must be fed!
The horses must be watered ! The cows must be milked ! Now, hurry, you
idle rascal.
Orlando:
I am not idle, brother.
Oliver:
Orlando, I promise you will have no dinner until the work is finished.
Orlando:
This farm is yours, I know. When father died he left it to you, but he
also left money to send me to university. Where is the money ?
Oliver:
There is no money.
Orlando
(seizing OLIVER)
: Where is the money, you thief? Father wanted me to be a student, not
a farm hand.
Oliver
(frightened)
: Don't hit me!
Orlando:
I should kill you !
Oliver:
Very well. I will try to find money for you. But universities are very
expensive nowadays.
Orlando
(releasing OLIVER)
: You promise?
Oliver:
A11 right, I promise.
Orlando:
Then I will feed the animals, today. Tomorrow you had better find some
one else to do your dirty work. Father wanted me to study, and I will.
(Exit
ORLANDO)
Oliver:
Yes and tomorrow you will murder me if you can. I must be careful of you,
little brother.
(Enter
CHARLES.)
Oliver:
Who is that ?
Charles:
It is Charles, sir. May I speak with you?
Oliver:
Ah ! I haven't seen you since the duke escaped to the forest. How is everything
at court ? How is the new duke ?
Charles:
I work for him, sir, and he seems well.
Oliver:
It's a bad business. Why did the brothers quarrel ?
Charles:
I do not know, sir.
Oliver:
Brothers, brothers, there is always trouble. Why, just before you came,
my own brother Orlando threatened to murder me. Would you believe it ?
Charles:
It is about Orlando that I have come to talk with you.
Oliver:
Orlando ? Why ?
Charles:
Your brother likes sports.
Oliver:
I know that. Sports, sports, sports, that's all he thinks about. He will
never do a stroke of work unless I make him.
Charles:
Your brother is a fine sportsman, sir, and today the duke holds a sports
meeting. I will be wrestling.
Oliver:
You are the best wrestler in the country.
Charles:
Thank you. I shall wrestle any one who wishes to fight me. Orlando intends
to come. Don't let him come.
Oliver:
Is that so ? Why ?
Charles:
Of course he and I are very friendly, but today is a public contest, and
I will probably break a few bones.
Oliver(with
cunning) : But are you friendly?
Charles:
Certainly. I have been teaching him for months.
Oliver:
But here, away from you, we learn a different story. He boasts that you
are old and weak. He tells us that he plans to shame you in public.
Charles
(surprised)
: What ! Orlando plans to embarrass me in front of everybody ?
Oliver:
He is clever ! He pretends to be friendly, but in secret he practices wrestling.
Look out, Charles. Today he may send you to hospital.
Charles
(angry)
: The little devil ! He says he will beat me ? ,
Oliver:
Yes. He probably plans to please the duke, and then take your job.
Charles:
I came here to warn him. What a fool I am ! Let him come, and I will teach
him a thing or two.
Oliver:
Do so. I will come and watch.
Charles:
You will be surprised.
Oliver:
I hope so.
(Both
exit.) SCENE 2
(Enter
ROSALIND and CELIA.)
Celia
(happy)
: Smile, Rosalind, smile !
Rosalind
(unhappy):
How can I smile ? I am so unhappy.
Celia:
But you are with me; how can you be unhappy ?
Rosalind:
Yes, Celia, you are my only friend.
Celia:
But if you love me, you must also love my father.
Rosalind:
Impossible. Your father hates my father.
Celia
(embarrassed)
: Well. . . .
Rosalind:
Your father has driven my father into hiding. Today your father is duke.
But who should be duke ? Your father or my father ?
Celia:
Oh, I don't know. It's all so complicated. They are brothers, but they
seem to hate each other.
Rosalind:
So how can I be happy?
Touchstone
(entering)
: How can you be happy ?
Rosalind:
Yes, make us merry.
Touchstone:
Ah, to be merry, you must marry.
Rosalind:
I will never marry. I hate men.
Touchstone:
But surely you don't hate me ?
Rosalind
(smiling)
: Yes, I do.
Touchstone:
But I want to marry ! Lady Celia, will you please marry an unhappy old
man ?
Celia:
Marry you ! Of course not. I want a rich, handsome young boy.
Touchstone:
But I am rich, handsome and young.
Celia:
In that case I must marry you.
Touchstone:
Agreed ! But I can only give you half my time because of lady Rosalind.
Rosalind:
And why, may I ask ?
Touchstone:
Do you not wish to marry a rich, handsome young boy ?
Rosalind:
Well, I don't know, maybe. . . .
Touchstone:
There are no other rich, handsome young boys, so I must marry you both.
Oh, how unhappy I shall be !
Celia:
You are a fool !
Touchstone:
I know, everybody says so. I am the second biggest fool at court.
Rosalind:
Oh? Is there a bigger fool than you, then ?
Touchstone:
Yes, and here he comes. He begs to have his bones broken.
(Enter
CHARLES)
Charles:
Good afternoon, ladies. Have you come to see the sport?
Touchstone:
Is breaking bones a sport?
Charles
(smiling)
: I spoke to the ladies, not to you.
Touchstone:
But they do not wish to speak to you. They are seeking husbands, not ruined
wrestlers.
Rosalind:
All we find is fantastic fools.
Touchstone:
This is the place to find fools. They will come to break their bones.
Celia:
Where is the contest, Charles ?
Charles:
Here, madam, on the grass.
Celia:
Oh, good! I love to see men fight.
Touchstone:
I love to see women fight.
Celia:
Women do not fight, you silly old man.
Touchstone:
Yet they break the hearts of men. :
Charles:
Here is the duke.
(Enter
YOUNG DUKE and others.)
Celia:
Hello, father.
Young
Duke:
Celia! You have come to see the wrestling ?
Celia:
Of course.
Rosalind:
I will go.
Celia:
Rosalind, do not go.
Rosalind:
I do not like to see men hurting each other.
Young
Duke (angry)
: Are you speaking to me, madam ?
Rosalind:
I spoke to your daughter about wrestling, your grace.
Young
Duke:
But perhaps you thought of your father ?
Rosalind:
I always think of my Father.
Young
Duke (to CHARLES)
: Let's begin.
Charles:
The wrestling contest! Ladies and gentlemen, I am Charles, the duke's wrestler.
I will fight any man who wishes to fight me.
(All
clap.)
Charles:
Now, who will challenge me ?
Orlando
(coming forward)
: I do.
Rosalind
(to CELIA)
: Who is this ?
Celia:
I don't know.
Charles:
You wish to fight me, Orlando?
Rosalind
(to CELIA)
: Orlando ! That's a fine name.
Orlando
(to CHARLES)
: Yes, I do.
Young
Duke:
You are very young, sir.
Orlando:
I will do my best, your grace.
Young
Duke:
Very well.
Charles:
Are you ready ?
Orlando:
Yes. (CHARLES and ORLANDO wrestle. Much noise. ORLANDO throws CHARLES. All clap.)
Rosalind:
Bravo !
Celia:
I thought you did not like to see men hurt !
Rosalind:
But I love to see men win. Isn't he strong !
Young
Duke:
How is Charles ? (CHARLES groans, lying on ground.)
Young
Duke:
Take him to a doctor. (CHARLES is carried out.)
Young
Duke:
Come here, young man. That was excellent.
Orlando:
Thank you, sir.
Young
Duke:
What is your name ?
Orlando:
Orlando.
Young
Duke:
Orlando who ?
Orlando:
My father was Sir Rowland de Boys.
Young
Duke (angry)
: Sir Rowland de Boys !
Rosalind
(pleased)
: He was my father's friend.
Young
Duke:
Yes, I know, but he was no friend of mine. You are a good fighter, sir,
but I could have wished you had a different father. (Exit DUKE and others. ROSALIND, CELIA, ORLANDO stay.)
Rosalind:
Come here, sir.
Orlando:
Madam ?
Rosalind:
Your father was my father's friend.
Orlando:
Madam, I have lost my father.
Rosalind:
And I have lost mine.
Celia:
No, you have not!
Rosalind:
You have beaten Charles. Here is your reward. (ROSALIND takes a chain from her neck and puts it round the neck of ORLANDO.)
Orlando:
Thank you. This is a surprise.
Rosalind:
Yes, it is a surprise.
Orlando:
What do you mean ?
Rosalind:
Sir, you have won a wrestling contest, but you have also done more.
Orlando:
Have I ? May I ask who you are ?
Rosalind:
Rosalind.
Orlando:
Rosalind. My name is. . . .
Rosalind:
Orlando.
Orlando:
Do you know me ?
Rosalind:
I know you enough to know I do not know you enough.
Celia:
What ever does that mean ?
Rosalind:
Remember me ! (Exit ROSALIND and CELIA.)
Orlando
(amazed)
: Remember you ! Yes, indeed, I will remember Rosalind. I live with my
brother's animals . .ﾂbut I will
remember Rosalind ! (Exit. ) SCENE 3(Enter YOUNG DUKE and OLIVER)
Young
Duke (angry)
: It was a trick ! Charles tells me that your brother planned to beat him
unfairly.
Oliver:
I think. . . .
Young
Duke:
Don't argue. Go and bring your brother to me.
Oliver:
Yes, your grace. (Exit OLIVER. Enter ROSALIND and CELIA.)
Young
Duke:
It was a trick !
Celia:
What was a trick, father ?
Young
Duke:
That young fellow Orlando beat Charles by a trick.
Rosalind
(angry):
I don't believe it.
Young
Duke:
Charles has just explained.
Rosalind:
Impossible !
Young
Duke:
His father Sir Roland de Boys was a doubtful man and the son is no better.
Rosalind:
The son is a true man!
Young
Duke (furious)
: Rosalind ! That is enough.
Rosalind:
I meant nothing.
Young
Duke:
You always mean nothing ! Your father has hidden himself and you stay here
to poison the ears of my daughter.
Celia:
Father ! She does not.
Young
Duke:
She will not. Tomorrow you can get out of here. Leave the court and : never
let me see you again.
Rosalind
(pleading)
: Your grace !
Celia:
Father !
Young
Duke:
Go ! You are banished. (Exit YOUNG DUKE.)
Rosalind:
Banished !
Celia:
Banished ! He doesn't mean it. It was only a joke.
Rosalind:
That was no joke. He meant it, all right. I must go...to...let me see窶ｦI
will go to the Forest of Arden and join my father.
Celia:
But it's so big ! You will never find him !
Rosalind:
I will walk and walk until I do !
Celia:
We will walk and walk until we do !
Rosalind:
We ?
Celia:
Yes, we. My father has banished me.
Rosalind:
No, no, he banished me.
Celia:
Then you do not love me, for how can Celia live without Rosalind ?
Rosalind:
You will truly come ?
Celia:
Truly.
Rosalind:
Dear, good Celia. Let us go together, then, and find my father.
Celia:
Won't it be rather dangerous for two young girls ?
Rosalind:
Yes, that's true. Suppose I dress as a man?
Celia:
Dress as a man?
Rosalind:
Yes. We can travel as husband and wife, or brother and sister.
Celia:
In that case you will need a new name.
Rosalind:
I forget that. What shall I call myself? Do you like the name Ganymede?
Celia:
Ganymede ?
Rosalind:
Yes .
Celia:
Yes, Ganymede, I like your new name.
Rosalind:
Shall we take some one else with us ?
Celia:
How about Touchstone ?
Rosalind:
Would Touchstone come with us?
Touchstone
(entering)
: Yes, I would.
Celia:
He has been listening !
Touchstone:
I heard, but I did not listen.
Celia:
That sounds strange.
Touchstone:
Young girls talk but say nothing, and that is just as strange.
Rosalind:
Come along, you wicked old man, we must hurry to the forest.
Touchstone:
Yes, perhaps I shall find a wife there.
Celia:
To Arden !
Rosalind:
To the forest !
All:
To the forest of Arden! (All exit.) SCENE 4
Touchstone
(off stage)
: Orlando ! Orlando !
Orlando
(offstage)
: Yes ? Who is it ?
Touchstone
(entering)
: Orlando ! Hurry, run, escape !
Orlando
(entering separately)
: Who are you ? What's the matter?
Touchstone:
I am Touchstone. I am the duke's jester and he is looking for you.
Orlando:
Why is he looking for me ?
Touchstone:
You beat Charles at wrestling.
Orlando:
So ?
Touchstone:
He thinks you tricked him. He says you beat Charles unfairly.
Orlando:
That's nonsense. It was a fair fight.
Touchstone:
Perhaps, but you are not safe here. The duke is angry and will probably
punish you. Run away.
Orlando:
But where shall I go ?
Touchstone:
Go anywhere, to sea, to the mountains, to the forest of Arden.
Orlando:
The forest? That's where the senior duke is hiding. Perhaps I can find
him.
Touchstone:
That's a very good idea.
Orland:
He was my father's friend, and may protect me.
Touchstone:
Don't stand here talking. Run for your life !
Orlando:
I will, and thank you (Both exit separately.) SCENE 5(Enter YOUNG DUKE and OLIVER separately.)
Young
Duke:
Now Oliver, where is your brother ?
Oliver:
I cannot find him, your grace.
Young
Duke:
Why not? Where is he ?
Oliver:
I don't know. Somebody saw him running away.
Young
Duke:
Running away ! Oliver, where did he go, then?
Oliver:
Somebody said he was going towards the forest of Arden.
Young
Duke:
The forest of Arden! That's where my brother is ! (A man enters.)
What's this ?
Man:
A letter for your grace.
Young
Duke (takes a letter and reads it)
: It is from my daughter Celia. "Father, you have banished Rosalind.
I cannot live without her, so I will go with her. We will go to the Forest
of Arden to find her father. When you love me as much as I love you, then
come to the forest and find us. Celia". Rosalind and Celia have also
gone to the forest of Arden. This is a plot! Your brother has planned this
!
Oliver:
No, no, I am sure he has not.
Young
Duke(very
angry) : Yet they go to the forest on the same day ! Find your brother
and bring him to me. He must be punished.
Oliver:
I never liked my brother.
Young
Duke:
So much the worse ! Find him. I shall seize your farm and your land and
take them from you unless you bring him to me. Go ! (Both exit separately.) SCENE 6(Enter SENIOR DUKE and others dressed as hunters. They prepare. for a picnic. )
Senior
Duke:
A picnic on the grass ! A deer we have killed ! Yes, this is the life.
Our life at court was never so pleasant. A toast! ' The Forest of Arden
!
All
(drinking)
: The forest of Arden !
Senior
Duke:
At court, we knew the smile of flattery, but here when the cold wind blows,
I smile and say, "The cold wind is better than flattery. I have no
library here, yet, I find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
sermons in stones and good in everything. I would not change it.
Jacques
(cynical)
: I would.
Senior
Duke (surprised)
: What ! You prefer flattery ?
Jacques:
No, but when the wind is cold I do not smile, I shiver.
Senior
Duke:
Cold is nothing:. Think of all the interesting new things one meets in
the forest.
Jacques:
Yes, that is true. Today, I met a fool called Touchstone.
Senior
Duke:
Touchstone ? I think I know that name.
Jacques:
He was dressed like a fool from the flattering court, so you would not
like him. He was wandering about the trees, quite lost.
Senior
Duke:
Why ?
Jacques:
He asked where the hotel was. Hotel ! I said, the only hotel here is a
cave in the hillside. Then, where is a restaurant? He asked. I said the
nearest restaurant was a river full of fish. As I said, the man was a fool.
Orlando
(runs in) :Stop
eating.
Jacques:
And here is another. I have not yet started.
Orlando:
Then do not start, unless you want to be killed.
Jacques:
Young man, I intend to eat. Kindly be quiet.
Orlando:
I have eaten nothing for three days.
Jacques:
Then you must be rather hungry.
Orlando
(holding a sword to JACQUEs'throat)
: Give me food, or must I kill you ?
Jacques:
Young man, if you will be kind enough to take your toy sword away from
my throat, I can then move my arm and pass you a sandwich or two.
Orlando
(ashamed)
: I am sorry.
Jacques
(giving him food)
: You should be.
Senior
Duke:
And now, explain yourself, my boy. Who are you ? Why do you come tearing
in here and try to murder us ?
Orlando
(eating)
: Forgive me, I am a fool.
Senior
Duke:
You are !
Orlando:
I was nearly dead. I saw you eating.
Senior
Duke:
Then why didn't you ask?
Orlando:
I thought you might refuse.
Senior
Duke:
Refuse ? This is the Forest of Arden. Here, we are all friends; people
we do not know are friends, too.
Orlando:
Forgive me, sir. You speak like a gentleman.
Senior
Duke:
Do I ? I used to be a gentleman, but now, luckily, I am a hunter.
Jacques:
I thought you were hungry.
Orlando:
I am.
Jacques:
Then why do you talk so much ?
Senior
Duke:
Poor fellow, he is weak with hunger. (ORLANDO eats, then lies down and sleeps.)
Jacques:
Look at him! First, he tries to kill us. Then, he eats all our food. Now,
he has finished his act and leaves the stage.
Senior
Duke:
That was not acting. He was truly desperate. Look, he is sleeping. You
said that you do not like the cold wind, Jacques, but this poor chap is
in a far worse condition than you. He is not acting, and this is no stage.
Jacques:
All the world's a stage.
And
all the men and women merely players :
They
have their exits and their entrances :
And
one man in his time plays many parts,
His
acts being seven ages. At first, the infant.
Crying
and twisting in his nurse's arms.
Then
the whining school boy, with his satchel,
And
shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly
to school. And then the lover,
Sighing
like the wind, and writing crazy poems
To
his lover's eyebrow. Then the soldier,
Full
of strange oaths, jealous in honour,
Sudden
and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation,
Even
in the cannon's mouth. And then the lawyer.
Fat
from his fees, full of wise remarks and legal trickery.
The
sixth age is the shrunk and wrinkled grandfather, Whose deep manly voice has gone, and now approaches
Second
childishness, forgetting everything.
Sans
teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Senior
Duke (clapping)
: Bravo ! Bravo ! That is the history of us all.
Amiens:
It is an unhappy history.
Jacques:
Then it is true.
Amiens:
But why should we be unhappy?
Senior
Duke:
Yes why ? Amiens, make us happy with a song.
Jacques:
Oh, no !
All:
Yes, let us sing.
Jacques:
I'd rather hear a sick dog. (Exit JACQUES. )
Senior
Duke:
He is a cynical fellow. |