Cinna’s Easy Plays from Shakespeare 6

AS YOU LIKE IT

SCENE 1

(Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER separately.)

Oliver (angry) : What are you doing, Orlando ?

Orlando (insolent) : Nothing, Oliver.

Oliver: Then get working !

Orlando: Why should I work ? You do not.

Oliver: I am your elder brother and I tell you what to do. The pigs must be fed! The horses must be watered ! The cows must be milked ! Now, hurry, you idle rascal.

Orlando: I am not idle, brother.

Oliver: Orlando, I promise you will have no dinner until the work is finished.

Orlando: This farm is yours, I know. When father died he left it to you, but he also left money to send me to university. Where is the money ?

Oliver: There is no money.

Orlando (seizing OLIVER) : Where is the money, you thief? Father wanted me to be a student, not a farm hand.

Oliver (frightened) : Don't hit me!

Orlando: I should kill you !

Oliver: Very well. I will try to find money for you. But universities are very expensive nowadays.

Orlando (releasing OLIVER) : You promise?

Oliver: A11 right, I promise.

Orlando: Then I will feed the animals, today. Tomorrow you had better find some one else to do your dirty work. Father wanted me to study, and I will.

(Exit ORLANDO)

Oliver: Yes and tomorrow you will murder me if you can. I must be careful of you, little brother.

(Enter CHARLES.)

Oliver: Who is that ?

Charles: It is Charles, sir. May I speak with you?

Oliver: Ah ! I haven't seen you since the duke escaped to the forest. How is everything at court ? How is the new duke ?

Charles: I work for him, sir, and he seems well.

Oliver: It's a bad business. Why did the brothers quarrel ?

Charles: I do not know, sir.

Oliver: Brothers, brothers, there is always trouble. Why, just before you came, my own brother Orlando threatened to murder me. Would you believe it ?

Charles: It is about Orlando that I have come to talk with you.

Oliver: Orlando ? Why ?

Charles: Your brother likes sports.

Oliver: I know that. Sports, sports, sports, that's all he thinks about. He will never do a stroke of work unless I make him.

Charles: Your brother is a fine sportsman, sir, and today the duke holds a sports meeting. I will be wrestling.

Oliver: You are the best wrestler in the country.

Charles: Thank you. I shall wrestle any one who wishes to fight me. Orlando intends to come. Don't let him come.

Oliver: Is that so ? Why ?

Charles: Of course he and I are very friendly, but today is a public contest, and I will probably break a few bones.

Oliver(with cunning) : But are you friendly?

Charles: Certainly. I have been teaching him for months.

Oliver: But here, away from you, we learn a different story. He boasts that you are old and weak. He tells us that he plans to shame you in public.

Charles (surprised) : What ! Orlando plans to embarrass me in front of everybody ?

Oliver: He is clever ! He pretends to be friendly, but in secret he practices wrestling. Look out, Charles. Today he may send you to hospital.

Charles (angry) : The little devil ! He says he will beat me ? ,

Oliver: Yes. He probably plans to please the duke, and then take your job.

Charles: I came here to warn him. What a fool I am ! Let him come, and I will teach him a thing or two.

Oliver: Do so. I will come and watch.

Charles: You will be surprised.

Oliver: I hope so.

(Both exit.)

SCENE 2

(Enter ROSALIND and CELIA.)

Celia (happy) : Smile, Rosalind, smile !

Rosalind (unhappy): How can I smile ? I am so unhappy.

Celia: But you are with me; how can you be unhappy ?

Rosalind: Yes, Celia, you are my only friend.

Celia: But if you love me, you must also love my father.

Rosalind: Impossible. Your father hates my father.

Celia (embarrassed) : Well. . . .

Rosalind: Your father has driven my father into hiding. Today your father is duke. But who should be duke ? Your father or my father ?

Celia: Oh, I don't know. It's all so complicated. They are brothers, but they seem to hate each other.

Rosalind: So how can I be happy?

Touchstone (entering) : How can you be happy ?

Rosalind: Yes, make us merry.

Touchstone: Ah, to be merry, you must marry.

Rosalind: I will never marry. I hate men.

Touchstone: But surely you don't hate me ?

Rosalind (smiling) : Yes, I do.

Touchstone: But I want to marry ! Lady Celia, will you please marry an unhappy old man ?

Celia: Marry you ! Of course not. I want a rich, handsome young boy.

Touchstone: But I am rich, handsome and young.

Celia: In that case I must marry you.

Touchstone: Agreed ! But I can only give you half my time because of lady Rosalind.

Rosalind: And why, may I ask ?

Touchstone: Do you not wish to marry a rich, handsome young boy ?

Rosalind: Well, I don't know, maybe. . . .

Touchstone: There are no other rich, handsome young boys, so I must marry you both. Oh, how unhappy I shall be !

Celia: You are a fool !

Touchstone: I know, everybody says so. I am the second biggest fool at court.

Rosalind: Oh? Is there a bigger fool than you, then ?

Touchstone: Yes, and here he comes. He begs to have his bones broken.

(Enter CHARLES)

Charles: Good afternoon, ladies. Have you come to see the sport?

Touchstone: Is breaking bones a sport?

Charles (smiling) : I spoke to the ladies, not to you.

Touchstone: But they do not wish to speak to you. They are seeking husbands, not ruined wrestlers.

Rosalind: All we find is fantastic fools.

Touchstone: This is the place to find fools. They will come to break their bones.

Celia: Where is the contest, Charles ?

Charles: Here, madam, on the grass.

Celia: Oh, good! I love to see men fight.

Touchstone: I love to see women fight.

Celia: Women do not fight, you silly old man.

Touchstone: Yet they break the hearts of men. :

Charles: Here is the duke.

(Enter YOUNG DUKE and others.)

Celia: Hello, father.

Young Duke: Celia! You have come to see the wrestling ?

Celia: Of course.

Rosalind: I will go.

Celia: Rosalind, do not go.

Rosalind: I do not like to see men hurting each other.

Young Duke (angry) : Are you speaking to me, madam ?

Rosalind: I spoke to your daughter about wrestling, your grace.

Young Duke: But perhaps you thought of your father ?

Rosalind: I always think of my Father.

Young Duke (to CHARLES) : Let's begin.

Charles: The wrestling contest! Ladies and gentlemen, I am Charles, the duke's wrestler. I will fight any man who wishes to fight me.

(All clap.)

Charles: Now, who will challenge me ?

Orlando (coming forward) : I do.

Rosalind (to CELIA) : Who is this ?

Celia: I don't know.

Charles: You wish to fight me, Orlando?

Rosalind (to CELIA) : Orlando ! That's a fine name.

Orlando (to CHARLES) : Yes, I do.

Young Duke: You are very young, sir.

Orlando: I will do my best, your grace.

Young Duke: Very well.

Charles: Are you ready ?

Orlando: Yes.

(CHARLES and ORLANDO wrestle. Much noise. ORLANDO throws CHARLES. All clap.)

Rosalind: Bravo !

Celia: I thought you did not like to see men hurt !

Rosalind: But I love to see men win. Isn't he strong !

Young Duke: How is Charles ?

(CHARLES groans, lying on ground.)

Young Duke: Take him to a doctor.

(CHARLES is carried out.)

Young Duke: Come here, young man. That was excellent.

Orlando: Thank you, sir.

Young Duke: What is your name ?

Orlando: Orlando.

Young Duke: Orlando who ?

Orlando: My father was Sir Rowland de Boys.

Young Duke (angry) : Sir Rowland de Boys !

Rosalind (pleased) : He was my father's friend.

Young Duke: Yes, I know, but he was no friend of mine. You are a good fighter, sir, but I could have wished you had a different father.

(Exit DUKE and others. ROSALIND, CELIA, ORLANDO stay.)

Rosalind: Come here, sir.

Orlando: Madam ?

Rosalind: Your father was my father's friend.

Orlando: Madam, I have lost my father.

Rosalind: And I have lost mine.

Celia: No, you have not!

Rosalind: You have beaten Charles. Here is your reward.

(ROSALIND takes a chain from her neck and puts it round the neck of ORLANDO.)

Orlando: Thank you. This is a surprise.

Rosalind: Yes, it is a surprise.

Orlando: What do you mean ?

Rosalind: Sir, you have won a wrestling contest, but you have also done more.

Orlando: Have I ? May I ask who you are ?

Rosalind: Rosalind.

Orlando: Rosalind. My name is. . . .

Rosalind: Orlando.

Orlando: Do you know me ?

Rosalind: I know you enough to know I do not know you enough.

Celia: What ever does that mean ?

Rosalind: Remember me !

(Exit ROSALIND and CELIA.)

Orlando (amazed) : Remember you ! Yes, indeed, I will remember Rosalind. I live with my brother's animals . .ﾂbut I will remember Rosalind !

(Exit. )

SCENE 3

(Enter YOUNG DUKE and OLIVER)

Young Duke (angry) : It was a trick ! Charles tells me that your brother planned to beat him unfairly.

Oliver: I think. . . .

Young Duke: Don't argue. Go and bring your brother to me.

Oliver: Yes, your grace.

(Exit OLIVER. Enter ROSALIND and CELIA.)

Young Duke: It was a trick !

Celia: What was a trick, father ?

Young Duke: That young fellow Orlando beat Charles by a trick.

Rosalind (angry): I don't believe it.

Young Duke: Charles has just explained.

Rosalind: Impossible !

Young Duke: His father Sir Roland de Boys was a doubtful man and the son is no better.

Rosalind: The son is a true man!

Young Duke (furious) : Rosalind ! That is enough.

Rosalind: I meant nothing.

Young Duke: You always mean nothing ! Your father has hidden himself and you stay here to poison the ears of my daughter.

Celia: Father ! She does not.

Young Duke: She will not. Tomorrow you can get out of here. Leave the court and : never let me see you again.

Rosalind (pleading) : Your grace !

Celia: Father !

Young Duke: Go ! You are banished.

(Exit YOUNG DUKE.)

Rosalind: Banished !

Celia: Banished ! He doesn't mean it. It was only a joke.

Rosalind: That was no joke. He meant it, all right. I must go...to...let me see窶ｦI will go to the Forest of Arden and join my father.

Celia: But it's so big ! You will never find him !

Rosalind: I will walk and walk until I do !

Celia: We will walk and walk until we do !

Rosalind: We ?

Celia: Yes, we. My father has banished me.

Rosalind: No, no, he banished me.

Celia: Then you do not love me, for how can Celia live without Rosalind ?

Rosalind: You will truly come ?

Celia: Truly.

Rosalind: Dear, good Celia. Let us go together, then, and find my father.

Celia: Won't it be rather dangerous for two young girls ?

Rosalind: Yes, that's true. Suppose I dress as a man?

Celia: Dress as a man?

Rosalind: Yes. We can travel as husband and wife, or brother and sister.

Celia: In that case you will need a new name.

Rosalind: I forget that. What shall I call myself? Do you like the name Ganymede?

Celia: Ganymede ?

Rosalind: Yes .

Celia: Yes, Ganymede, I like your new name.

Rosalind: Shall we take some one else with us ?

Celia: How about Touchstone ?

Rosalind: Would Touchstone come with us?

Touchstone (entering) : Yes, I would.

Celia: He has been listening !

Touchstone: I heard, but I did not listen.

Celia: That sounds strange.

Touchstone: Young girls talk but say nothing, and that is just as strange.

Rosalind: Come along, you wicked old man, we must hurry to the forest.

Touchstone: Yes, perhaps I shall find a wife there.

Celia: To Arden !

Rosalind: To the forest !

All: To the forest of Arden!

(All exit.)

SCENE 4

Touchstone (off stage) : Orlando ! Orlando !

Orlando (offstage) : Yes ? Who is it ?

Touchstone (entering) : Orlando ! Hurry, run, escape !

Orlando (entering separately) : Who are you ? What's the matter?

Touchstone: I am Touchstone. I am the duke's jester and he is looking for you.

Orlando: Why is he looking for me ?

Touchstone: You beat Charles at wrestling.

Orlando: So ?

Touchstone: He thinks you tricked him. He says you beat Charles unfairly.

Orlando: That's nonsense. It was a fair fight.

Touchstone: Perhaps, but you are not safe here. The duke is angry and will probably punish you. Run away.

Orlando: But where shall I go ?

Touchstone: Go anywhere, to sea, to the mountains, to the forest of Arden.

Orlando: The forest? That's where the senior duke is hiding. Perhaps I can find him.

Touchstone: That's a very good idea.

Orland: He was my father's friend, and may protect me.

Touchstone: Don't stand here talking. Run for your life !

Orlando: I will, and thank you

(Both exit separately.)

SCENE 5

(Enter YOUNG DUKE and OLIVER separately.)

Young Duke: Now Oliver, where is your brother ?

Oliver: I cannot find him, your grace.

Young Duke: Why not? Where is he ?

Oliver: I don't know. Somebody saw him running away.

Young Duke: Running away ! Oliver, where did he go, then?

Oliver: Somebody said he was going towards the forest of Arden.

Young Duke: The forest of Arden! That's where my brother is ! (A man enters.) What's this ?

Man: A letter for your grace.

Young Duke (takes a letter and reads it) : It is from my daughter Celia. "Father, you have banished Rosalind. I cannot live without her, so I will go with her. We will go to the Forest of Arden to find her father. When you love me as much as I love you, then come to the forest and find us. Celia". Rosalind and Celia have also gone to the forest of Arden. This is a plot! Your brother has planned this !

Oliver: No, no, I am sure he has not.

Young Duke(very angry) : Yet they go to the forest on the same day ! Find your brother and bring him to me. He must be punished.

Oliver: I never liked my brother.

Young Duke: So much the worse ! Find him. I shall seize your farm and your land and take them from you unless you bring him to me. Go !

(Both exit separately.)

SCENE 6

(Enter SENIOR DUKE and others dressed as hunters. They prepare. for a picnic. )

Senior Duke: A picnic on the grass ! A deer we have killed ! Yes, this is the life. Our life at court was never so pleasant. A toast! ' The Forest of Arden !

All (drinking) : The forest of Arden !

Senior Duke: At court, we knew the smile of flattery, but here when the cold wind blows, I smile and say, "The cold wind is better than flattery. I have no library here, yet, I find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones and good in everything. I would not change it.

Jacques (cynical) : I would.

Senior Duke (surprised) : What ! You prefer flattery ?

Jacques: No, but when the wind is cold I do not smile, I shiver.

Senior Duke: Cold is nothing:. Think of all the interesting new things one meets in the forest.

Jacques: Yes, that is true. Today, I met a fool called Touchstone.

Senior Duke: Touchstone ? I think I know that name.

Jacques: He was dressed like a fool from the flattering court, so you would not like him. He was wandering about the trees, quite lost.

Senior Duke: Why ?

Jacques: He asked where the hotel was. Hotel ! I said, the only hotel here is a cave in the hillside. Then, where is a restaurant? He asked. I said the nearest restaurant was a river full of fish. As I said, the man was a fool.

Orlando (runs in) :Stop eating.

Jacques: And here is another. I have not yet started.

Orlando: Then do not start, unless you want to be killed.

Jacques: Young man, I intend to eat. Kindly be quiet.

Orlando: I have eaten nothing for three days.

Jacques: Then you must be rather hungry.

Orlando (holding a sword to JACQUEs'throat) : Give me food, or must I kill you ?

Jacques: Young man, if you will be kind enough to take your toy sword away from my throat, I can then move my arm and pass you a sandwich or two.

Orlando (ashamed) : I am sorry.

Jacques (giving him food) : You should be.

Senior Duke: And now, explain yourself, my boy. Who are you ? Why do you come tearing in here and try to murder us ?

Orlando (eating) : Forgive me, I am a fool.

Senior Duke: You are !

Orlando: I was nearly dead. I saw you eating.

Senior Duke: Then why didn't you ask?

Orlando: I thought you might refuse.

Senior Duke: Refuse ? This is the Forest of Arden. Here, we are all friends; people we do not know are friends, too.

Orlando: Forgive me, sir. You speak like a gentleman.

Senior Duke: Do I ? I used to be a gentleman, but now, luckily, I am a hunter.

Jacques: I thought you were hungry.

Orlando: I am.

Jacques: Then why do you talk so much ?

Senior Duke: Poor fellow, he is weak with hunger.

(ORLANDO eats, then lies down and sleeps.)

Jacques: Look at him! First, he tries to kill us. Then, he eats all our food. Now, he has finished his act and leaves the stage.

Senior Duke: That was not acting. He was truly desperate. Look, he is sleeping. You said that you do not like the cold wind, Jacques, but this poor chap is in a far worse condition than you. He is not acting, and this is no stage.

Jacques: All the world's a stage.

And all the men and women merely players :

They have their exits and their entrances :

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant.

Crying and twisting in his nurse's arms.

Then the whining school boy, with his satchel,

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like the wind, and writing crazy poems

To his lover's eyebrow. Then the soldier,

Full of strange oaths, jealous in honour,

Sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation,

Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the lawyer.

Fat from his fees, full of wise remarks and legal trickery.

The sixth age is the shrunk and wrinkled grandfather,

Whose deep manly voice has gone, and now approaches

Second childishness, forgetting everything.

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Senior Duke (clapping) : Bravo ! Bravo ! That is the history of us all.

Amiens: It is an unhappy history.

Jacques: Then it is true.

Amiens: But why should we be unhappy?

Senior Duke: Yes why ? Amiens, make us happy with a song.

Jacques: Oh, no !

All: Yes, let us sing.

Jacques: I'd rather hear a sick dog.

(Exit JACQUES. )

Senior Duke: He is a cynical fellow.

Amiens: Shall I sing, your grace ?

Senior Duke :Do.

Amiens (sings) : "Blow, blow you winter wind,

You are not so unkind,

As man's ingratitude.

Your tooth is not so keen,

Because you are not seen,

Although your breath is rude.

Hey-ho, sing hey-ho, unto the green holly.

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly,

Then hey-ho, the holly,

This life is most jolly."

Senior Duke: True, it is.

(All sing the same song again.)

Orlando (waking up) : Where am I ?

Senior Duke: In the Forest of Arden.

Orlando: Oh, yes, I remember.

Senior Duke: Now tell us why you are here.

Orlando: I had to run away from home.

Senior Duke: Why ?

Orlando: The duke wanted to punish me.

Senior Duke: The duke !

Orlando: Yes, the new duke.

Senior Duke: What is your name ?

Orlando: Orlando : My father was Sir Rowland de Boys.

Senior Duke: Sir Rowland de Boys !

Orlando: Did you know him ?

SeniorDuke: Yes, he was one of my officers.

Orlando(surprised) : One of your officers ! Then you . . .

Senior Duke: I was once a duke, yes. Will you stay with us ?

Orlando: I will, your grace.

Senior Duke: Good. Now come and tell me why you are having trouble with my brother.

(Exit all.)

SCENE 7

(Enter ROSALIND, CELIA, TOUCHSTONE ; exhausted.)

Celia: Oh, Rosalind, I am so tired !

Rosalind: Do not call me Rosalind. I am a man, now, Ganymede.

Celia: I'm sorry, sir, I forget. You had better put on man's clothes.

Touchstone: Try on my coat.

Rosalind: Very well.

(ROSALIND puts on man's clothing.)

Rosalind: How do I look ?

Celia: You look like a handsome. rich young boy.

Rosalind: Very handsome ?

Touchstone: No, not very handsome.

Rosalind: But young and rich ?

Touchstone: Young, yes, but you look fairly poor.

Celia: She looks very nice.

Touchstone: It's a matter of taste. Dressed like that, I'm afraid I cannot marry you.

Rosalind: Good ! Please do not marry me !

Celia: Touchstone is just a jealous old man. Don't listen to him. You look just right for the forest, Rosalind.

Rosalind: Ganymede.

Celia: I mean Ganymede. You are dressed for adventure.

Touchstone: Speaking for myself, I do not want any more adventures. I want a soft warm bed.

Rosalind: The only bed you will find is this grass.

Touchstone: Then good night, ladies. Good night, sir. Good night, whoever you are.

(TOUCHSTONE lies down.)

Celia: Go to sleep. That is the only way you can stop talking.

(CELIA and ROSALIND also sit and rest. Enter ORLANDO, not seeing them.)

Orlando: Hang there, my verse. (He hangs a paper on tree.) Oh Rosalind, I have written a poem to you. You gave me this chain to remember you with, and now I cannot forget you. You are at court, but I am here in the forest. How can we meet ?

(Exit ORLANDO.)

Touchstone: What's all this ? (takes paper from tree.) To Rosalind.

Celia: She is not Rosalind, remember.

Touchstone: Then this letter is not for her. It is written to Rosalind.

Rosalind: Show it to me !

Touchstone: No, no, it is for Rosalind.

Rosalind: Give it to me, give it to me, I am Rosalind part of the time.

Touchstone: Then I will give you part of the letter.

(TOUCHSTONEC tears paper in two, and gives half to ROSALIND.)

Rosalind (reads) : It is a poem !

窶廡rom the east to western Ind,

No jewel is like Rosalind."

Touchstone: What a terrible poem!

Rosalind: Quiet.

"Her worth, being mounted on the wind,

Through the world bears Rosalind.

All the pictures fairest limned

Are but black to Rosalind.

Let no face be kept in mind

But the face of Rosalind."

Touchstone: Dreadful !

Celia: It is very, very beautiful.

Touchstone: It is very, very ugly.

Rosalind: It's a better poem than you could write, Touchstone.

Touchstone: Oh ? Let me try.

"Sweetest nut has sourest rind

Such a nut is Rosalind.

He that sweetest rose will find

Must find love's thorn in Rosalind."

Rosalind: You understand nothing about love.

Celia (takes other paper) : Let me see.

"Helen's cheek but not her heart

Cleopatra's better part

Cupid chooses for his darts

Rosalind the sum of arts.

Touchstone: Worse and worse.

Rosalind: This writer loves Rosalind.

Celia: But who is he ?

Rosalind: Who knows I'm in the forest ?

Celia: Perhaps it is a trick of Touchstone here ?

Touchstone: Me ? Don't insult me with such an idea.

Rosalind: Then who is writing ?

Celia: I wonder if. . .

Rosalind: Yes ?

Celia: Do you remember. . .

Rosalind: Who ?

Celia: At court there was a wrestling contest. Do you remember giving your chain to a young man ?

Rosalind: Orlando !

Celia: Can this be Orlando ?

Rosalind: But he was at court. We are now far away.

Touchstone: If he loves you, perhaps he has followed you.

Rosalind: Oh, love !

Touchstone: You have no hope, however.

Rosalind: And why, may I ask?

Touchstone: Look at your clothes. This poem is for Rosalind. You are Ganymede, a rough and rather dirty hunter of the forest.

Rosalind: Celia ! What shall I do !

(Enter ORLANDO. He puts another paper on tree. JACQUES enters, takes the paper, reads it.) ,

Orlando: Do not read my poem.

Jacques: Do not hurt the trees by hanging poems on them, then.

Orlando: There are many trees here.

Jacques: I hope there will be few poems.

Orlando: I write for Miss Rosalind, not for Mr. .Jacques.

Jacques: Rosalind ? Who is Rosalind ?

Orlando: She is the most beautiful girl in the . . .

Jacques: Yes, yes, yes. I do not like her name.

Orlando: Her parents did not choose her name to please you.

Jacques: Hopeless ! I will walk and hope to find a tree without a poem on it.

Orlando: Good. I prefer to be alone.

Jacques: Adieu. Let us become worse friends.

Orlando: I will certainly be as unfriendly as possible.

.Jacques : And don't frighten the animals with bad verses.

(Exit JACQUES.)

Rosalind (to CELIA) : It is Orlando.

Celia: Then he has followed us here.

Rosalind: What shall I do ?

Celia: Talk to him.

Rosalind: Not in these clothes.

Celia: Yes. He will not know you. So you can test him.

Rosalind: That's very clever. A secret test. (to ORLANDO) Sir !

Orlando (seeing ROSALIND, but not recognising her) : Good day, sir.

Rosalind: Where can I find the police ?

Orlando: The police!

Rosalind: Yes. Look here. Some rascal is putting foolish papers on all the trees.

Orlando: I am doing so.

Rosalind: You !

Orlando: Yes. I wish to be left alone, if you : don't mind.

Rosalind: In this poem, you say you wish to be with Rosalind.

Orlando (angry) : But as I cannot, I do not wish to be with you. Good-bye.

Rosalind: Now you are angry.

Orlando (angry) : I am not angry.

Rosalind: Yes, my uncle was right.

Orlando: Your uncle ? What do you mean?

Rosalind: You are a true lover. My uncle said a true lover becomes angry if he is disturbed. It is one of the signs.

Orlando: Are there many signs ?

Rosalind: Oh yes, the lover is easy to recognise. His hair is never tidy. His clothes are a mess. He cannot eat. But your hair is neat and your clothes are clean, so perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps you do not love.

Orlando: I do love.

Rosalind: And where is the lady, pray ?

Orlando: I saw her only once. After that I came here to the forest.

Rosalind: You saw her once then left her ! This is not love ! You are false to her !

Orlando: I can never be false to Rosalind.

Celia: He writes poems to her.

Rosalind: True, perhaps I am wrong. Poems. Yes, that is one of the signs my uncle spoke of. Poems are difficult to cure.

Orlando: Cure ? Are you a doctor of poems ?

Rosalind: My uncle was a doctor of love, and he taught me how to cure the lover of his foolishness.

Orlando: You could never cure me.

Rosalind: I could. I have cured many.

Orlando: I do not wish to be cured.

Rosalind (going) : Then good-bye. I can do nothing for you.

Orlando: Don't go. Tell me more.

Rosalind: There is nothing to tell.

Orlando: But how do you cure ?

Rosalind: I show the lover that love is foolish. I act as his lover. He talks to me. I answer with her tongue. You, for example, would woo me as. . . What's her name ?

Orlando: Rosalind.

Rosalind: Rosalind ? What a strange name.

Orlando: It's the most beautiful. . .

Rosalind: I will change it.

Orlando: You cannot.

Rosalind: Meet me here tomorrow at noon, and I will.

Orlando: Very well. I challenge you to cure me.

Rosalind: I will.

Orlando: Tomorrow at twelve, young fellow.

Rosalind: "Young fellow"! Have you forgotten my name so soon ? I am your Rosalind. ,

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Rosalind: You must kiss me.

(ROSALIND offers hand.)

Orlando(kisses her hand) : I have never kissed Rosalind.

(Exit ORLANDO.)

SCENE 8

(TOUCHSTONE remains.)

Touchstone: Love ! Lovers ! Nonsense !

(Enter AUDRY, a very dirty farm girl.) Hallo, hallo, what do we have here? Good afternoon, my fair lady.

Audry: Good day, sir.

Touchstone: Why are you running like this ?

Audry: I am looking for my sheep.

Touchstone: Your sheep ! Are you then a shepherdess ?

Audry: I am, sir, and my father will be very angry if I lose any of the animals. I do not know what to do.

Touchstone: May I help you look ?

Audry: Oh, thank you, sir.

Touchstone: What is your name, my dear ?

Audry: Audry, sir.

Touchstone: Audry ! The most beautiful name in all the world.

Audry: Oh, thank you. May I ask your name ?

Touchstone: Touchstone.

Audry: Touchstone ?

Touchstone: Touchstone .

Audry: That's a rather strange name.

Touchstone: But a handsome name, don't you think ?

Audry: Yes, rather handsome.

Touchstone: And, rich.

Audry: It sounds rich.

Touchstone: And very young.

Audry: Then you must be handsome, rich and young.

Touchstone: Audry, don't talk so much. We must go and look for your sheep.

(TOUCHSTONE puts arm round AUDRY. Exit both.)

SCENE 9

(Enter ROSALIND and CELIA.)

Rosalind (upset) : Where is he ?

Celia: I don't know.

Rosalind: Don't talk to me.

Celia: I won't

Rosalind: Say something.

Celia: What shall I say ?

Rosalind: Where is Orlando ?

Celia: Not here. Rosalind: He promised to come. Why hasn't he come ?

Celia: Oh, men ! They always make promises to girls but you can never trust them.

Rosalind: How can you torment me like this, Celia ? His hair is so beautiful.

Celia: It's good hair, but he should wash it.

Rosalind: And his face, so handsome !

Celia: But he forgot to shave.

Rosalind: He does not love me. How can he be late if he loves me ?

Celia: Here comes somebody now.

(Enter SILVIUS and PHOEBE, shepherds.)

Silvius (very loving) : Sweet Phoebe, let me talk to you.

Phoebe (spiteful) : Never.

Silvius: But I love you.

Phoebe: I do not love you. You are nothing but a poor shepherd boy. You have no money. You have no brains. What kind of love is this ?

Silvius: Phoebe ! Love is in the heart. Love is not money and new clothes.

Phoebe: Then where is the handsome face and the charming tongue .

Silvius: I do not have them, but my heart is true.

Phoebe: Plenty of men have true hearts. Go and find a girl foolish enough to love you.

Rosalind (angry) : And who are you, madam ? Who gave you permission to insult an unhappy man? Let me look at you. Your face... well, I see little there. Your hair . . .you trust to nature more than art, I see. Your breath . . . Phew ! . . . you love this girl ?

Silvius: I do, sir.

Rosalind: Then love indeed is blind. And you refuse his love ?

Phoebe: Don't stop. Please. Do not stop.

Rosalind: What do you mean ?

Phoebe: I'd rather hear your anger than his love.

Rosalind(surprised) : Well ! I do believe she means to trap me.

Phoebe: Yes, handsome stranger.

Rosalind: He has fallen in love with your foulness, and you have fallen in love with my anger. Let me tell you something, madam. I do not love you. Nor will I ever. (to CELIA) Come, sister, we must go. (to SILVIUS) Attack, shepherd, attack. Seize her, storm her, take her. (to PHOEBE) A suggestion, my dear. Sell while you can; you are not for all markets.

(exit ROSALIND and CELIA)

Phoebe(to ROSALIND) : No, don't go, stay here. (to SILVIUS) You say you love me ?

Silvius: Yes.

Phoebe: Then how can you let him insult me like this ?

Silvius: I . . .

Phoebe: Don't talk to me. I never want to see you again.

Silvius: Oh Phoebe.

Phoebe: Why don't you thrash him when he insults me ? ' '

Silvius: Shall I ?

Phoebe: You are too weak. I must write him a letter. You can take it to him.

Silvius: Write the letter, then. I will take it to him.

(Exit SILVIUS and PHOEBE.)

SCENE 10

(Enter ORLANDO.)

Orlando: I am late ! I am late !

Rosalind (enter) : And who are you ?

Orlando: Have you forgotten me ? I am Orlando ?

Rosalind: Orlando ? Orlando ? There are so many boys here I cannot remember everybody.

Orlando: You promised to meet me here at noon.

Rosalind: Ah, yes, I do remember you. But it is now after one.

Orlando: I'm very sorry. I am only an hour late.

Rosalind: Ah hour late for love ?

Orlando: I will come an hour early next time.

Rosalind: What next time ?

Orlando: For Rosalind I would come a week early .

Rosalind: But I am Rosalind.

Orlando: It's a foolish idea of yours, no more.

Rosalind: Ah well, if you wish to die of lonely love, then, good-bye.

Orlando: No, don't go.

Rosalind: Why ?

Orlando: Cure me, doctor.

Rosalind: Cure you of love ?

Orlando: I wonder if you can.

Rosalind(sits down) : It's quite easy. Let's begin, Lesson Number one. I will first show you that all love is foolish.

Orlando: Yes, do. I will begin with a kiss.

Rosalind: Oh ! no ! How very impertinent ! Well, perhaps I may let you end with a kiss. . . a slight pressure of the lips to the hand. Nothing more. Now, woo me.

Orlando: Rosalind, I love you.

Rosalind: That's not very poetic. You should kneel.

Orlando (kneeling) : Rosalind, I love you.

Rosalind: They all say that.

Orlando: You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

Rosalind: Do you have poor eyes ?

Orlando: Your hair is like a cloud on a mountain.

Rosalind: That's better.

Orlando: Your eyes are the colour of. . .

Rosalind: Of what ?

Orlando: Of. . . of. . . I forget.

Rosalind: You forget ! You don't know the colour of her eyes ! Perhaps she is blind.

Orlando: No, I had very little time.

Rosalind: What lover you are! Were her eyes the colour of my eyes, would you say ?

Orlando: No, quite different.

Rosalind: Different !

Orlando: Yes, yours are a grey colour, like a muddy river.

Rosalind: Well !

Orlando: Hers are pale blue like the sky in the early morning.

Rosalind: That's very fine. But it's not true.

Orlando: It is true !

Rosalind: Rosalind is old.

Orlando: No.

Rosalind: She looks like a grandmother, half bent, walks with a stick, lives alone with a cat, no doubt.

Orlando (standing) : You are too ridiculous. I shall go. This is not love.

Rosalind: Aha, then I have cured you .

Orlando: No, you have made me love Rosalind more, because it is impossible to love you.

Rosalind (quietly) : Then I will be kind.

Orlando: Thank you.

Rosalind: I am your Rosalind.

Orlando: If you wish.

Rosalind: So what do you want ?

Orlando: I want to marry her, of course.

Rosalind: Then say so.

Orlando: Rosalind, will you marry me ?

Rosalind (frivolous) : I will, and twenty more.

Orlando: Then I die.

Rosalind: No, don't die !

Orlando: I am dead. I die even if Rosalind frowns.

Rosalind: You must not die. If you die, Rosalind dies, too. Live for Rosalind.

Orlando (surprised) : That sounded like true love.

Rosalind: I am a very good actor, don't you think ?

Orlando: Is this acting ?

Rosalind:If I am so good, then let us do something even better. Celia. You will be the priest and marry us. What do you say ?

Orlando: Yes ! Marry us !

Celia: I don't know the words.

Rosalind: Oh it's very easy. Say "Will you Orlando, marry Rosalind ?"

Celia: Will you Orlando marry Rosalind ?

Orlando: I will.

Rosalind: But when ?

Orlando: Why, as soon as possible.

Rosalind: Then you must say, "I take you Rosalind as my wife".

Orlando: I take you Rosalind as my wife.

Rosalind: And how long will you keep her as a wife ?

Orlando: How long ! For ever.

Rosalind: Impossible ! Men say this, but what do they do ? They are April before they marry, but December afterwards. I will be a bad wife! I am jealous. I am changeable. When you laugh I will weep. When you want to sleep, I will chatter and laugh.

Orlando(standing) : You may, sir, but my Rosalind will not.

Rosalind: Believe me, Rosalind will do as I do.

Orlando: We shall see, and now good-bye.

Rosalind (surprised) : Good-bye !

Orlando: I must join the duke at dinner. I will return in two hours.

Rosalind (bitter) : Yes, go, go. I knew you would be like this. You may marry me, but you think only of your friends, of parties, of hunting or, of drinking and of singing foolish songs . Flattery ! Flattery ! Good-bye.

Orlando: I will return in two hours.

Rosalind: No, do not bother. Love is dead.

Orlando: Have you cured yourself of love, then ?

Rosalind: Welcome, death.

Orlando: Wait for me.

Rosalind (holding out hand) : You may kiss my hand.

Orlando: I will keep the kiss and use it later.

(Exit ORLANDO.)

Rosalind: Celia, is this love ?

Celia: Yes, he loves you. But...do you love him ?

Rosalind: Don't torment me ! You know I die when he walks away.

Celia: It is you who torments him. If your love is true, then you must tell him who you really are.

Rosalind: I must, yes, I must.

(Exit ROSALIND and CELIA.)

SCENE 11

(Enter SENIOR DUKE and hunters carrying a dead deer. )

All (sing) : "This is the month of Maying."

(All exit. ORLANDO, enters, and follows them,.)

SCENE 12

(Enter ROSALIND and CELIA.)

Rosalind: Orlando is late again.

Celia: Only a little.

Rosalind: He doesn't love me. (Enter SILVIUS. ) And here is our young shepherd, Mr. Silvius. Where is your cruel lover, Silvius ?

Silvius: Sir, she has written a letter to you.

Rosalind: A letter !

Celia: Is there a post office in the forest, then?

Silvius: No, there is not. I have brought it myself. Here.

(gives letter to ROSALIND)

Rosalind: Who wrote this ?

Silvius: Phoebe did. She thinks you insulted her, so she is angry with you.

Rosalind: Have you read this ?

Silvius: I cannot read.

Rosalind: It's a very strange letter.

Silvius: If she insults you, you must forgive her. She is a good girl, but rather hot-tempered.

Rosalind: Yes ! Listen to this (reads) "You are the most handsome man in the forest." She certainly is angry. "Silvius is a foolish shepherd, but you are a true gentleman." Did you ever hear such anger ?

Silvius: Is this anger ?

Rosalind: "Love me as I love you, I hate this forest. Take me away. I want to live in court with ladies and gentlemen." You see, Silvius, she hates me.

Silvius: No ! No ! She loves you.

Rosalind: No, she doesn't.

Silvius: But these are words of love.

Rosalind: Yes, but she is a woman. Women say the opposite of what they mean. It is you she loves. This is a trick to make you jealous.

Silvius: I love her, yes, but I am not jealous.

Rosalind: You are too kind to her. =

Silvius: What must I do then ?

Rosalind: Say that if she loves me, then I order her to love you. Say that if she does not love you, then I will not love her. You love her ? Go, then. Tell her what I said.

(Exit SILVIUS. Enter OLIVER separately.)

Oliver: Good afternoon, may I speak with you ?

Rosalind: Who are you, sir?

Oliver: My name is Oliver de Boys. I am looking for a brother and sister named Ganymede and Celia. Can it be you ?

Rosalind: I am Ganymede, yes.

Oliver: Do you know a man called Orlando ?

Rosalind: Yes.

Oliver: Orlando is my brother. I have this message from him for you. (gives ROSALIND a handkerchief covered with blood.)

Celia: Blood !

Rosalind: Is he dead ?

Oliver: He was hunting, and was injured by a lion.

Rosalind: But how do you know?

Oliver: I have just come from court to find him.

Rosalind: Did you injure him?

Oliver: No, no, truly it was a lion.

Celia: But how is he?

Oliver: He is weak. He sends this message to Ganymede. He says that he dies, he will die with the name Rosalind on his lips.

Rosalind: Oh, Orlando. ( faints)

Celia: Rosalind !

Oliver: Yes.

Celia: I mean Ganymede.

Oliver: Why does he faint?

Celia: Ganymede, Ganymede, are you all right ?

Oliver: He acts like a woman.

Celia: They have been having some foolish game.

Rosalind (opening eyes) : Well. What did you think of that ?

Oliver: Why did you faint?

Celia: Drink this water.

Rosalind: I did not faint. I merely pretended.

Oliver: Pretended !

Rosalind: Yes, of course. Your brother loves a girl called Rosalind, and I am teaching him to forget love. I pretend to be Rosalind and he pretends to woo me.

Oliver: Very strange.

Celia: Yes, I think so, too.

Oliver: Do you play such games, Miss Celia ?

Celia: No, I say what I mean. If I love, then I say so plainly.

Oliver: So do I.

Rosalind: Go back to your brother, sir, and tell him how cleverly I acted.

Oliver: He is with the duke. I will go and tell him.

Celia: But why have you come to the forest?

Oliver: That's a long story.

Celia: Let us go with him and find Orlando.

Rosalind: We might as well.

Celia: Now what are you doing here?

Oliver: I will explain as we go.

(He takes CELIA's arm. All exit.)

SCENE 13

(Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDRY)

Audry: Goodness gracious, where are those sheep ?

Touchstone: We must look over there.

Audry: My father will be so angry.

Touchstone: You can take him something better than sheep.

Audry: What do you mean, sir?

Touchstone: A son-in-law, Audry. (kneeling) Audry, be mine.

Audry: I don't know.

Touchstone (standing) : Don't you love me ?

Audry (sitting) : It's all so sudden.

Touchstone (kneeling) : Then let us make it last for ever.

Audry (standing) : I must ask my father.

Touchstone: Ask your heart.

Audry: My heart says yes.

Touchstone (standing) : Oh, Audry.

Audry: But my head says "Be careful!"

Touchstone (falling to ground) : Audry !

Audry: I must look for my sheep !

(Runs off.)

Touchstone (standing) : Audry ! Audry !

(Runs off other way.)

SCENE 14

(Enter ORLANDO, arm in sling, and OLIVER and CELIA.)

Oliver: I found Ganymede, and told him. He is coming.

Celia: He is a good fellow.

Oliver: I told him you were injured, and he fainted.

Orlando (surprised) : He fainted !

Oliver: Yes, he passed out, as dead as a log.

Orlando (alarmed) : Dead !

Oliver: Just for a minute.

Orlando: Is he all right, then ?

Oliver: Perfect. He said he was acting, pretending to be a heart-sick lover.

Orlando: Maybe.

Oliver: Was he truly pretending?

Celia: Well, it's hard to say.

Oliver: This Orlando is more like a girl than a boy. But Celia ! Ah, there is a girl for you !

Celia (blushing) : Don't be so silly!

Rosalind (enters) : Orlando !

Orlando: Ganymede. I beg your pardon, Rosalind.

Rosalind: I hear an animal attacked you.

Orlando: I hear you fainted.

Rosalind: Oh that. I was just pretending.

Oliver: Were you ?

Rosalind: Certainly.

Oliver: Was he ?

Celia: You heard what he said, didn't you ?

Oliver: Your brother seems a very unusual man.

Rosalind: My sister thinks you are a very unusual man.

Celia (embarrassed) : I do not !

Oliver: Madam, let us take a walk and you can tell me more about this peculiar brother of yours.

(Exit OLIVER and CELIA. )

Rosalind: Why did your brother come to the forest? I thought he hated you.

Orlando: The duke sent him to find me.

Rosalind: Why ?

Orlando: Apparently the duke thinks I beat Charles at wrestling unfairly. The duke has taken all my brother's farm and land.

Rosalind: Seized them ?

Orlando: That's what Oliver tells me. My brother has nothing now.

Rosalind: You are wrong; he has Celia.

Orlando (surprised) : Celia ?. . . Rosalind: Orlando, Orlando, you understand little of love. Those two loved from the moment they met. Can you not see what is staring you in the face ?

Orlando: You think Oliver and Celia are in love, then ?

Rosalind: This is the forest of Arden. Everybody finds his love here.

Orlando: I have not.

Rosalind: You wish to ?

Orlando: How can I ?

Rosalind: Do you truly love Rosalind?

Orlando: I do.

Rosalind: Then I promise to bring her to you.

Orlando: But how can you . . . .

Rosalind: That will be my magic secret. Look ! Here come two more lovers, Phoebe and Silvius. Silvius loves Phoebe, but Phoebe loves me.

Orlando: That's complicated. Who do you love ?

Rosalind: I have a secret lover, in my heart.

(Enter SILVIUS and PHOEBE)

Phoebe(angry) : I wrote you a letter. Why did you show it to Silvius?

Rosalind: You sent him with love for me, and I sent him back with love for you.

Phoebe: I want your love, not his love. He does not know how to love.

Silvius: But I do ! Love means sighs and tears. That is how I feel for Phoebe.

Phoebe: And I for Ganymede.

Orlando: And I for Rosalind.

Rosalind: And I for no woman.

Silvius: Love is faithfulness and service, which I have for Phoebe.

Phoebe: And I for Ganymede.

Orlando: And I for Rosalind.

Rosalind: And I for no woman.

Silvius: Love is passion, duty and humility, Love is patience and impatience, which I have for Phoebe.

Phoebe: And I for Ganymede.

Orlando: And I for Rosalind.

Rosalind: And I for no woman.

(Enter TOUCHSTONE chasing AUDRY. )

Touchstone: Audry, stop. Look. Lovers. One, two, three, four, of them. Now, if you will please forget your sheep and love me, then we can count six lovers. What do you say ?

Audry: I don't know. If I don't find the sheep, my father will be furious. (All laugh.)

Rosalind: No more, please. (to SILVIUS) I will help you to marry, if I can. (to PHOEBE) I would love you, if I could. (to all) Everybody, come back here tomorrow and you will all be married. (to PHOEBE) Tomorrow, I will marry you if I ever marry woman. And tomorrow I will certainly marry. (to ORLANDO) Tomorrow I will satisfy you if I ever satisfy man, and tomorrow you will marry. (to SILVIUS) I will content you, if what pleases you also contents you, and you shall marry tomorrow. (to ORLANDO) If you love Rosalind, come here tomorrow. (to SILVIUS) If you love Phoebe, come here tomorrow. (to all) And as I love no woman, I will come also and help everyone become happy.

All: Good-bye !

(Exit all but TOUCHSTONE and AUDRY.)

Touchstone: Audry, you hear ? Tomorrow they will all marry. Let us also marry, at the same time.

Audry: Well, perhaps. But I must find my sheep.

(Exit AUDRY.)

Touchstone: Audry. Do you love your sheep more than me ? Baa, baa, baa.

(Exit TOUCHSTONE following AUDRY.)

SCENE 15

(Enter SENIOR DUKE, ORLANDO, JACQUES.)

Senior Duke: This is a strange story.

Orlando: Yes, your grace, it is strange.

Senior Duke: This boy Ganymede will bring my daughter Rosalind here to the forest ?

Orlando: She will come today-or so e says.

Senior Duke: Amazing.

Jacques: I wonder.

Orlando: Here comes Ganymede now. You may ask him yourself.

(Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, PHOEBE.)

Orlando: Ganymede, this is the duke.

(ROSALIND kneels and kisses SENIOR DUKE's hand.)

Senior Duke: Let me look at you. Have we ever met? Your face seems familiar.

Rosalind: Oh, I am sure your grace would remember me if we had ever met.

Senior Duke: Hm. Strange.

Jacques: Very strange.

Rosalind: I am the matchmaker in the forest of Arden, your grace. Orlando wishes to marry your daughter. Is that true?

Orlando: It is true.

Rosalind: Will your grace permit your daughter to marry him ?

Senior Duke: Yes, I suppose so.

Rosalind: Then I will bring her. Orlando, do you promise to marry Rosalind ?

Orlando: I promise.

Rosalind: And Phoebe, are you willing to marry me ?

Phoebe: Oh, yes.

Rosalind: But if you refuse me, will you marry Silvius ?

Phoebe: I will.

Rosalind: And Silvius, will you marry Phoebe?

Silvius: I will.

Rosalind: Your grace has heard these promises.

Senior Duke: I have, and I expect to see them kept.

Rosalind: You will, sir. Now, if you will excuse me, I will go and find Rosalind.

(Exit ROSALIND. )

Jacques: Everybody has been making promises but I did not hear you, Master Touchstone.

Touchstone: You will, lord Jacques, you will.

Jacques: And whom, pray, do you intend to marry ?

Touchstone: Why, this dirty sheep girl.

Audry(pleased) : Ah, thank you, sir.

Touchstone: Greet the duke, Audry.

(AUDRY curtsies clumsily.)

Touchstone: A poor thing, sir, but my own.

Audry(pleased) : I thank God that I am dirty.

Touchstone: This skin may be dirty, Audry, but inside the muddy oyster we may find the pearl.

Senior Duke: A wise fool.

Jacques: Hm. A skillful liar who charms a simple girl.

Senior Duke. : Come, come, surely, not. Are you a liar, sir, as Monsiur Jacques says?.

Touchstone: Yes and no. Your lie may lead to the truth, whereas does every one wish to know the truth ? If I use a distant lie, it may point the way to the truth.

Senior Duke: Now what does that mean? Explain yourself, sir.

Touchstone: There is a man here whose beard is filthy, but I will not say his name. (points to JACQ:UES) If I speak the truth, I must say 窶弸ou are filthy". But he does not wish to hear this. Thus I speak more gently and say, "Sir, your beard is somewhat unusual". This is a Retort Courteous. He may now reply that the beard is his beard, and he may do as he pleases with it. This is the Quip Modest. But I speak more strongly and say, "Your beard needs a little care". This is the Reply Churlish. He answers that there is no barber in the forest. This is the Reproof Valiant. I say he must leave the forest and find a barber. This is the Countercheck Quarrelsome. He answers that there is no need for a barber. This is the Lie Circumstantial. I reply, "Sir, you have no beard". This is the Lie Direct.

(TOUCHTSONE puts hand on JACQUES' beard. It is false and comes off. All laugh.)

Senior Duke: Bravo, brilliant. You should be a politician. Now tell me again so that I may remember.

Touchstone: First, the Retort Courteous. Second, the Quip Modest, Third, the Reply Churlish. Fourth, the Reproof Valiant. Fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome. Sixth, the Lie Circumstantial. Seventh, the Lie Direct.

Jacques: By this time the other is so angry he takes out his sword and proceeds to kill you.

(JACQUES holds sword to TOUCHSTONE)

Touchstone: Yes, of course, that is one danger.

Senior Duke: So what do you do ?

Touchstone: You bring in the important word "if". You say "if" this and this and this, then, that and that and that. But because you have used "if" you can also say "but of course I may be mistaken". After that, no true gentleman can be angry, so he shakes hands.

(TOUCHSTONE and JACQUES shake hands.)

Touchstone: Your "if" is your only peace-maker. There is much virtue in "if".

Jacques: Is not this a rare fellow, your grace ?

Senior Duke: He uses his folly like a stalking horse, and under cover of it, strikes us with the arrows of his wit.

SCENE 16

Rosalind: Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to marry ? Rosalind is here.

Orlando: Where ? I do not see her.

Rosalind: Everybody, close your eyes. (CELIA helps remove man's clothing from ROSALIND.) Open your eyes !

Orlando: Rosalind !

Senior Duke: My daughter !

Jacques: So this was a lie.

(Points to clothes.)

Senior Duke: Then you may all marry.

Oliver: First, I have brought good news. The young duke repents, and asks the senior duke to return to court.

Senior Duke: Me ?

Oliver: Yes, your grace. You are truly duke again. Return to court, for your people are waiting.

Jacques: Will your return ?

Senior Duke: If my people are waiting, then I must return.

Jacques: For me, the winter wind is better than the flattering tongue. I will stay here. (to ORLANDO and ROSALIND) To you, I wish you all the love faithfulness deserves (to OLIVER and CE.LIA) To you, happiness and a new life (to PHOEBE and SILVIUS) To you, a long and well-deserved bed. (to TOUCHSTONE and AUDRY) To you, wit and wisdom. (to all) Everybody, good-bye.

Senior Duke: Do not go, good Jacques.

Jacques: I cannot return to court with your grace. The forest of Arden is the place for me. (Exit JACQUES . )

Senior Duke. : Come, the marriage ceremony. ( The four couples join hands, and marry. All dance and sing "It was a lover and his lass.")

All: "It was a lover and his lass,

With a hey and a ho and a hey nonnyno

That in the green corn field did pass

In the spring time, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing. Hey ding a ding a ding

Sweet lovers love the spring."

Touchstone: Come, Audry, trip, Audry, trip.

Audry: I must find my sheep.

Touchstone: Baa, baa !

(All dance off, but ROSALIND).)

Rosalind (speaking directly to audience) : A good play needs no advertisement. But if a play is bad, what shall we do ? Well, this play is finished, and it is too late to do anything. As I cannot tell you much about the play, I will tell you a little about yourselves. First I speak to the women. Oh, women ! You must like the parts of this play which you like, but you need not like the parts you do not like. And you men ! If you love women . . . and I see by your foolish smiles that none of you hate them. . . if you do not like the play, why then, go home and love the women. If I were a woman, I would love all of you men. And if I were a man, I would pretend to love all the women, but I am just an actor, and the play is finished, so I can do nothing except say "Good-bye". (ROSALIND bows deeply and exits. Song off: "It was a lover and his lass")

 * * * * * * * * * *

"AS YOU LIKE IT"

PLACE : a forest

TIME : uncertain

ACTORS: 9 boys, 4 girls

PEOPLE IN THE PLAY

ORLANDO, lover of ROSALIND

OLIVER, his elder brother

YOUNG DUKE

SENIOR DUKE, banished by his younger

brother

ROSALIND, daughter to SENIOR DUKE

CELIA, daughter to YOUNG DUKE, and intimate of ROSALIND

TOUCHSTONE, a humourous old man, friend of ROSALIND and CELIA

JACQUES; a cynical friend of SENIOR DUKE

AMIENS, a friend of SENIOR DUKE, singer

AUDRY, loved by TOUCHSTONE (Shepherd)

PHOEBE, who loves ROSALIND (Shepherd)

SILVIUS, lover of PHOEBE (Shepherd)

CROWD OF COURTIERS, HUNTERS, etc.

CHARLES, sports teacher to YOUNG DUKE